Back to Dublin

On this much welcomed grey, and rainy day, I find myself sitting in "my room" at the house on St. Kevins Park in Dublin, Ireland where Katrina, He who must not be named, and their family, had graciously hosted me earlier in my journey.  It's a great day to sleep in, read, and catch up on this blogging thing. As I listen to the rain, feeling the wind blow through the open window,  it feels good to be back here. I have had great adventures, and am grateful to all that have hosted me during my travels, but Dublin is the place I feel most comfortable. The city is easy to get around in, and I am happy to say, I no longer require a map to accompany me. I don't know if I have just finally started trusting my own inner compass, or I simply don't care if I get lost anymore. Dublin is just small (or big) enough, so that you get a lot done in a day without spending half of it traveling on bus or rail. Way to go Urban Planners! 

I have kept myself pretty busy touring around the UK, Ireland, and Scotland. While I have had some time to walk and ponder, I haven't really tackled the heavy stuff yet. I do believe the universe has started to catch onto my scheduled diversions, and has decided to step in and force the process. While staying in Edinburgh, Scotland, I took a day trip to Glasgow. (Enter the Universe). This was a day of dead ends. I had planned a couple of museum visits, to have dinner at a restaurant I had read about, and to go see Quasi (as mentioned in earlier blogs). After the longest 3 mile taxi ride ever, and feeling ripped off by the taxi driver, I arrived at the first museum - closed for lobby renovations. Thinking that Glasgow seemed small enough to walk, and wanting to avoid getting "taken" again by a taxi driver, I decided to walk to museum number two. Keep in mind, it's about 4ish in the afternoon, but it's Summer, and things stay open until dark right?! Wrong! Museum number 2 closes at 5. By the time I had walked there, I only had about half an hour to look around. Heavy sigh. Quasi didn't go on until 9ish, I didn't feel like having a 4 hour dinner, so I just walked. Walked all round the shops, stopped into a bar, had a pint, read the local rag, then walked over to where Quasi was playing to pick up a ticket before getting a bit to eat. Guess what?! The show was sold out! No tickets left, no tickets being released at show time. FRIG! What a frustrating day. Who knew they were so popular in Glasgow? Good for them! Bad for me. So, I started walking to the restaurant I had read about. Not all would be lost today, I will at least get a good meal, then take the train back to Edinburgh. Ready for this? Wait for it... wait for it.. The restaurant - not even there! Gone! Replaced by a cheesy sports bar full of what had to be high schoolers with fake ID's. I headed out to the street, looking up overhead every now and again in fear of falling pianos or anvils. Seriously, what next! ya know? My cell phone rings. It's Katrina. I start relaying my day, tears start to fall from my eyes, "I don't know why I'm crying, everything is wrong, I can't book a room in Paris, I'm tired of being my own travel agent, I miss Portland, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, I'm running out of money, I'm lonely, I think I made a mistake by booking this three month long indulgence.."  Kat says, "Come back to Dublin, stay with us - you are meant to be dealing with other things right now.." The voice of reason. Sniff, sniff, my tears start to dry. She was right, it's time to start thinking about the tough stuff. It's time to stop spinning my wheels, trying to see everything I can in Europe before July 2nd. It's time to let all that I have already seen and experienced over the past couple of months sink in. Thanking the universe for stepping in, and thankful to Kat for rescuing me from my day of dead ends, I go back to Edinburgh and book my flight to Dublin.

On my previous visit, I got most of the tourist-y stuff out of the way. This visit is mostly about hangin' out. Hangin' out with the Corcorans, hangin' out in Dublin coffee shops and parks, just simply hangin' out talking about stuff, and thinking about stuff. As I near the end of my travels, I am starting to think seriously about what's next for me when I return to Portland. That is what sparked this whole three month adventure. I knew I needed some space to figure stuff out. Coming off of the past few years, and the changes that occurred in my life, it's just simply time to reassess my future for happiness. Not that I am unhappy in my life, now, or anything. I have great friends and family, and I live in one of the best cities in the world (ok.. I haven't seen all of the world yet, but at this point, I feel pretty certain about saying that), but I want to be able to look back, at some point, and feel good about what I have contributed in this life. I am starting to understand this whole mid-life, what does it all mean, time in my life as a blessing, not a burden. That's a good start, right!?