Thursday, May 27, 2010

In search of Nessie

So, ya gotta go, right?! I mean, it's Scotland, and I've heard about the legend of the Loch Ness monster since I was a kid. 
Nessie!
The locals, mostly brush it off as a hoax - but I've seen those Discovery Channel shows. You know, the ones where they digitally re-enact the possibilities of how there could be an actual pre-historic animal living in the loch. If I remember the show correctly, somehow a colony of these animals were trapped underneath the lochs in a huge, grand canyon size, underwater valley during the ice age so they didn't die out. Over time, as things started to shift around, they were able to gain access to the loch, and twice a year when the salmon are running, they come around to grub. I may not be entirely right - but I think it goes something like that. Anyway, I had to go and see for myself. I booked a tour through some random place on the Royal Mile. The tour boasted castles, markers of battles of William Wallace and Robert the Bruce, more castles, a whiskey tasting, and the beautiful Highland countryside. All while getting a history lesson from the tour guide, and the scoop on all those waring clans  you hear so much about. 


I met the bus at 8 a.m. at the Edinburgh Castle. Being there at 8 a.m. meant, I had to be out the door by 7 to walk through Stockbridge, and up the hill to the castle. I also wanted to be early so I could get a window seat. I haven't really been getting up before 10 or 11 these days - so it was a bit of a challenge. But, I did it - and I must say it was a lovely morning walk. Folks heading to work, and others, seemingly, to the tour bus, because it was packed! Not a single seat left. The 20 something year old guy sitting next to me (a student in London, from Mumbai originally) was separated from his friend and the two girls they came with. I say it that way, because that is how he explained it to me. He, in no way at all, wanted anyone to get the idea that he was "with" those girls. I got the feeling "those girls" didn't know that. Our bus driver started the tour by saying, in his Scottish accent, "...Ok guys, we have a very long drive in front of us, guys, and guys, I want to tell ya that I don't tolerate a lot of chit chat while I'm talking. Ok guys?!" Seriously, the word "guys" was used no less that 5 times in a sentence. I bet he was the kid that was always shouting, " Hey guys, wait for me. Guys? Hey Guys.." He also said that if we were late at any of the stops that he would leave us. (Jeeezze, dude, chill...) Now that we all felt sufficiently reprimanded for sins of other tours, we were to sit back and enjoy the tour. (Riiiiggght..) The guide was awful. He sped past most of the sights folks wanted to get pictures of with a wave of his hand.."and guys, to the left, guys, we have the field where William Wallace led his clan to victory, guys, in the battle of.." People quickly tried to grab pictures. He then proceeded to put on the worst 70's era Scottish pop music. The kids behind me, 2 American high school graduates, started talking non stop about their friends, and who 'did" who at the prom. 20 something, sitting next to me, would chat about how different the countryside was compared to Mumbai. He told me that he and his family had a farm at one time, but then moved into the city. He preferred the farm, so I think he really appreciated the Highlands.

really pretty. snow on the hill side.
"Ok guys, so, guys, in Scottish history guys, if we weren't warring with others, guys, we were warring with ourselves. This is the spot, guys, where the Mac Donal clan was effectively wiped out, guys. Sad, guys, but it was during the winter guys, and you see that snow up there guys? Well, guys most of the women and children hid up there in those hills, and well, guys, they froze to death. They froze to death, guys, whilst their men were down here in this field, guys bleedin' t' death". Then back to the Bay City Rollers, S-A-TUR-DAY NIGHT!
i guess it, at least, it's a pretty place to die
When we pulled up to the spot, there were many other tour busses and such. Hmmm...I couldn't help but wonder what those other tour guides said about this spot. There was also this bag piper. I don't know if he is there all day, or if he was on one of the other tour buses. I don't know what his deal was at all, or why he was there. He was there though, and really feeling what he was playing.
every time i would see one of these guys, i couldn't help but hear Mike Myers from I Married an Ax Murderer, "..we have a piper down - i repeat, we have a piper down"
Fearing the wrath of our bus driver, we took our 10 minutes to appreciate the beauty - then back on the bus towards Loch Ness. It was the longest drive ever. There was a lot of road work, so we would have to stop and wait, a lot. By this time the music had turned into traditional Scottish music, fiddles and accordions. Twenty something, next to me, was asleep - as was most of the bus. There are two lower lochs before you reach Loch Ness. They were gorgeous. Not many inhabitants, but some homes scattered here and there. I wonder where folks get their groceries. It was pretty bleak - miles and miles from one little town to another. 
the murky, black, mysterious waters of Loch Ness
"Ok, guys, here we are guys, at Loch Ness. Guys, if you are doing the castle and boat tour guys, you must get on the boat at half three. Guys, if you miss the boat, guys, you have no other way of getting back to the bus. So, guys, you must not miss the boat. Ok guys? Don't miss the boat. If you are only going on the boat, guys, you must be back at the bus, guys, by 4:15. That's 4:15 guys, don't miss it." 
get me to that boat...
...i have a monster to find!
So, the water was black and really calm. The only wakes were made by boats. It was a little creepy. The water is black, or dark brownish amber really, because of all the peat that is in the soil in these parts. It was gorgeous. I've never seen anything like it. Very reflective. The shoreline and the clouds looked like one continuous thing in some parts. It rained on us a little, then the sun would break. It was a really nice boat ride. I perched myself at the bow of the boat and kept my eyes peeled for any break in the water. Low and behold!! I saw something!
could it be nessie??
"Did you see that!", I said to the guy standing next to me. He stared at me blankly. I said it again, "Did YOU SEE that!" Blank stare. He then said (sort of), and signed with his hands, "I don't speak english". He may have been deaf, but he wasn't blind. Didn't he see it? I guess I was the only one. Starting to doubt myself, I zoomed my camera in more, and tried for a different angle.
Nessie and her baby ducklings
Well, there she is! Nessie the Mallard Duck, with all her wee baby ducklings trailing behind. Heh, heh - I didn't really think there was a monster, anyway (wink).

Back to the bus! 4:15! The bus driver stands up, lifting his pants up, "Guys, are we all... what?! Well, guys, we are not all here. I said for everyone to be here, guys, I don't know what to do, there are some folks that can't listen, guys." Shaking his head from side to side, "Well, guys, we will have to wait until we can find those two ladies, guys. The ones that were late earlier, during our lunch break guys. They are late again." There were these two ladies that didn't seem to care what schedule the bus was on. Truly, though, I don't think they understood a word the bus driver said. So, we waited until another boat could go pick them up from the castle. We waited, and waited. The bus driver was all kinds of mad by the time they got there. They had thrown off the schedule so badly that we couldn't stop at the whiskey distillery. Now I was mad! Damn it! I needed a shot of whiskey after this long ass bus ride to see a few ducks. (ok, I'm exaggerating - I wasn't really mad - but I wasn't looking forward to the 4 hour plus ride back without a little somethin' somethin' -  if ya know what I mean?) Anyway, after they boarded the bus, we hit the road. It was long (have I mentioned that?), I napped most of the way back, only waking once to hear that the music had now changed to Rod Stewart "Maggie I couldn't have tried, any moooore". We arrived in the city at 8:30 p.m. Everyone was tired, except "those girls"! They were ready to go out and see some music, and dance. 20 something looked at me and rolled his eyes, as one of those girls took his hand and led him down the Royal Mile. I had a nice walk home watching the sun start to set. Number 8 Colville Place never felt so good. 

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