Leaves of Fall presented by Lucy

Today is the last day of November. Thanksgiving has passed, and folks are getting ready for Christmas. Portland, Oregon in the Fall is one of my favorite places, and as the season rounds the corner into Winter, trees are loosing their Fall color and diving into the bareness of Winter hibernation. Goodbye Fall - see you next year.

"Fall is here, Mom. Let's go for a walk!"

Lucy learns what the color red looks like.

This is orange. Lucy thought it was a "tree" on fire.

Yellow Ginko leaves.

Pondering our fragility

We are fragile humans. Sometimes, I look into the eyes of a person and it becomes so evident to me how tender our spirits are. 


I have an older friend that isn't long for this world, and I treasure every moment I am in his presence. Papa Tom (as all of us call him), has lived a long life, a life of which he has no regrets. In his many years he has experienced everything from war, to the everlasting love of a wonderful woman, who passed away some years ago. He has a family and friends that love him, and take good care of him. Tom's body is telling him it's time to slow down, yet, he is still out there dancing with us "young" folks refusing for anyone to call him "sir" (even though he more than deserves the respect of that word, over and over again). 


I was talking with Tom tonight, and it was the first time I noticed a tired look in his eyes. He has gone through a couple rounds of treatment for cancer, and has another to endure at the end of this month. There is no doubt that he will keep living the fullest life he can, as long as he can, which I respect and admire in him. He is an example of courage, and optimism, and I am inspired by his tenacity. I hug him and tell him how much I enjoy dancing with him, how good it is to see him. I mean it with all my heart.

Papa Tom and I

I know I am pre-mature in this feeling of loss I find myself with tonight, and I'm not saying my good-byes yet, but I know from personal experience how quickly the game of cancer can turn, so, it just got me thinking, that's all.


It's hard for anyone to know what we go through in our lives. What our days are like, and who has influenced the filters with which we view the world, and the people in it. I am going to try to be more aware of our fragility. More compassionate with myself,  and others, when dealing with loss. Whether the loss of mortality, or the loss of friendships of those who are living. Change is constant, and I want to be careful not to confuse the two. Change is just simply, that - change. Loss is something felt deeply in the heart, something that effects our spirit, something that only patience, compassion, and time can heal.

Maple

Fall is here. The days are getting shorter, the nights longer. All I feel like doing is staying home and reading, or watching movies, with a hot cup of tea in hand. Fall is my favorite season; love to watch the leaves change color. I came across this pretty Cut Leaf Maple the other day. 

pretty

Green, to red, to orange, to yellow; all the colors of fall in one tree. Maples are my favorites for fall color, come to think of it, they are my favorite for spring color too. 

Study Habits

I'm taking a writing class. It's a required class, so that I can enroll at OSU in the winter as a sophomore. It's not a hard class, challenging for me personally - yes - but only in that it is bringing clearly to the fore front that I have appalling study habits! I tend to leave the writing part until the very last minute. I read what I need to read, research what I need to research, then, mull it over to figure out what angle I want to approach my subject. Then... I get lazy,  and my laziness leads to procrastination. I really should write the damn thing while it's fresh on my mind. So! In an effort to make the writing process more appealing - I am going to allow my dining room table to be overrun with books, pen & paper, (I know, I'm so "old school"), and yes even computer cords. I will no longer make myself way too comfortable on the couch,  allowing the interruptions of my "favorites" to take me away to other web destinations. 


Having now said that - I will allow walks with Lucy to interrupt, occasionally. 

Lucy likes yellow leaves.

A good walk, especially on a day like today, is good for clearing the head. It enables me to come back to my homework with fresh eyes, and ideas. 

 a whirlwind of Fall leaves.

Fingers crossed this new technique works!

Rustle Wood - 45

Well, I turned 45 this past week, as mentioned in the previous post. For the past 5 or 6 years I have been going to Arch Cape and celebrating this event with friends of the same age. In the past, I would foot the bill for the Rustle Wood cabin, and friends provide no less than gourmet food and drink (I'm very fortunate to call some really good cooks, friends, by the way). It is a great set up for sure! This year, however, due to the life changing events I have set forth in my world - I couldn't afford to rent the cabin that I consider to be my yearly "reset". (sad face). But!! One of those great friends I mentioned above, Stefanie, made sure this year's reset would go as it should. She and her family rented the cabin, and I got to mooch off of them. I say "mooch" because they also provided the amazing meals as well. What a great birthday present!

Rustle Wood Cabin 2010

Lucy and I arrived Friday around 4pm. Lucy has been there twice now, and I think it's just as much her favorite place, as it is mine. As soon as we drove into the drive way, she started sniffing the air and got very excited.

"when you gonna open up the hatch?!"

I opened the back of the wagon and she jumped out and started running in circles. So, cute! We let ourselves in, got our stuff settled, then went to the beach. 

gorgeous sunset

We pretty much had the whole stretch of Arch Cape to ourselves. I've never let her off leash before - well, I did once, and she went chasing birds, out of my sight, for about half an hour. This scared the crap out of me - so, I haven't allowed her off the leash since - until, today. I have to say she did really well. Yes, she bolted after some seagulls, but didn't get too far away from me, and she came back when I called her. Good Girl!! I'm still hesitant to let her off leash when there are kids on the beach. They are her favorite things to chase, only second to birds. Since kids can't fly away out of reach, she was attached to me the rest the weekend. But, as a pair, we ran in the waves, and walked through the creek - so I don't think she was too disappointed.


Anyway, after our initial romp, we went back to the cabin and built a fire, set the table, and got ready for Dangermond and the Beckers to arrive. As I was looking around the cabin for candles, I came across these Harpers Magazines from the 1930's. Not many pictures inside, all articles. The only add was on the back cover, for Lucky Strike cigarets. 

So cool! Not the smoking part, but the being from the '30's part. I took a quick glance through, but didn't have time to really read anything before the rest of the folks got there. Steve, (Stef's S.O.) had prepared a wonderful "Fish Stew" (ask Stef about why this is in quotes - if you know her) I've ever had. Lucy and boys cuddled up on the swing and watched the fire, while the adults had a couple of glasses of wine and chatted for a little while. (No! Max and Ben you can't have a glass of wine. Not even if it's white.) It was a perfect end to the week. 


Lucy and I slept upstairs, left the window open to hear the waves crash. 

She needed to go outside around 5am and do her "bidness". I was a bit sleepy eyed and wishing she could hold it just a few hours more - but nope  - she really wanted to go then. We headed out to the frost bitten side yard, she sniffed around, as I took a quite glance up at the night sky. WOW! All the stars in the universe were out. The sky was incredibly clear, and I could make out even the smallest of galaxies. Super Cool!! Thanks for being so persistent Luce! I wouldn't have seen all those stars, if you hadn't lead me there.


Saturday morning breakfast, and a walk to the creek. The boys did some rock climbing, tide pooling, and cave spelunking - the rest of us watched in amazement that they did all that barefooted, pants rolled up to the knees, managing not to get soaking wet. Ben found a wooly monarch butterfly caterpillar. Lucy found a dead jelly fish. It was a good morning for us all.


After a trip into town for some fish and chips, Lucy and I headed back to the city. 

Max, Ben, and I - happy and full of fish and chips!

We were both a little depressed once we got home. We missed the ocean and our friends. 

Dangermond and the Beckers

But it was, as intended, my yearly reset - Thanks to good friends and the stars above.

Up the Hill

In a few minutes, about 45 of them, coincidentally, I will be 45 years old. (I'm watching the cursor blink), I don't know what to think about that just yet. 


This is a picture I took while hiking in Ireland. I don't know exactly where - but it seems to fit my feeling at the moment. 

not quite over the hill, but almost...

I hope it's as nice on the other side as it is over here.

Three Months Ago

Funny how it's been about three months since my last post. I guess my life does go in three month cycles. Weird. I haven't really felt like posting anything since I go back from Europe. I suppose it's taken me this long to get back "here". Here, Portland Oregon. My Portland is changing, and that is a great thing. 


I have a part-time job at Froelick Gallery, I'm going to Oregon State University to study horticulture, and I have a new (old) car. 

her name is Limoncello

I've also put my condo on the market in the hopes of finding a little bungalow with some dirt to play in. Those are the most apparent changes, I suppose. But, those things are a direct result of the last 6 months (3 months of traveling, 3 months of simmering upon my return). 


My travels changed me, changed my priorities. I think differently about my world, and most importantly, the people in it. I feel as if there is reconstruction going on, infiltrating my old processes of living and thinking. I'm excited to see where this newness takes me. I'm putting my trust in my heart, and hoping the universe sends along helpful signs to direct me. There will be challenges and fear - no doubt - I just hope I can resist going back to old, safe ways. Hopefully, (fingers crossed) the new path will be an amazing path full of exciting and meaningful stuff I have no idea about.

me and Lucy at the Oregon coast. the picture is blurry - you're not drunk.